Its been what.. 2 years?! Almost, two numb years hustled by and I lived through, again. I don't know, its a mixed feeling, a pot boiler of self-pity to soaring self esteem, but I did manage to live. The motherhood, or as my gynaecologist says, 'evolutionary disadvantage' has been a tremendous roller coaster (well what was I thinking, it was never meant to be walk in the park), so is unemployment and celibacy (hahahahaha). But that being said, it did have it's moments. I lived through days only to look forward to the next. The learning and personal growth has been exponential. A brief summary of the learnings is what motivated me to start to write this blog. So here comes the rant....
3. Motherhood-the-sweet-poison: Before your hormones, exhaustion and peer pressure swallows the whole of your soul, save it! put it away safe and take it out sooner than you anticipate. Its a glorified slavery bestowed on female homo sapiens (other mammals are free to chose their parenting style), by an old Christian society with medieval mindset and we dumbly keep following it due to sheer patriarchal convenience. Get over it, half the population does it, no big deal, keep your souls intact and teach your daughter to do the same. Ignoring a fussy baby, no baby food at clock-work or here and there baby bruises, are all a part of growing up! So stop hassling over it, travel, sip that wine and read that book (teach your daughter to do the same, break the vicious cycle)! The world will still keep spinning, believe me, it will!
1. The India Woman syndrome: Neither I chose to be born in the country not did I want the cunt, yet I am here, Indian woman, the word synonymous to objectification, scandalous, forced sacrifices, judged and overall repressed third world living. One is made to sacrifice their self love, self esteem, livelihood and identity to foster the growth of a their 'family', a family without a me (only applies to woman) , yet severely judged by fellow women if one likes to independent and happy. So I lived through the criticism, stares and glances, probes and hurtful side talks (including the esteemed spouse) and learnt to just walk away almost unscathed. A good thumbs up to that and I am in a good place in my head finally.
2. The 'love-is-a-myth' syndrome: Trust me sisters, it is a myth, love from men comes with a huge price tag and the issue is, its not monetary (then at least you have a chance to give a go at it). So stick around sisters, when the dick goes soft and the heady power rush sets in, get your pink goggles off and rescue yourself, before you drown in self-pity. Gains??? voila! you found yourself finally!
3. Motherhood-the-sweet-poison: Before your hormones, exhaustion and peer pressure swallows the whole of your soul, save it! put it away safe and take it out sooner than you anticipate. Its a glorified slavery bestowed on female homo sapiens (other mammals are free to chose their parenting style), by an old Christian society with medieval mindset and we dumbly keep following it due to sheer patriarchal convenience. Get over it, half the population does it, no big deal, keep your souls intact and teach your daughter to do the same. Ignoring a fussy baby, no baby food at clock-work or here and there baby bruises, are all a part of growing up! So stop hassling over it, travel, sip that wine and read that book (teach your daughter to do the same, break the vicious cycle)! The world will still keep spinning, believe me, it will!
4. The 'no-job-no-opinion' syndrome: Somehow slaving from 9-6 is extremely respected in a tax-payer driven society and if you are out of the game, you are as good as dead or maybe vegetative. You can't have opinions, physical exhaustion and off course no IQ (you didn't sieve through a thousand system generated emails or mandatory trainings or meetings requests, off course you are not productive). I learned the truth, I miss my pay check and thats all, nothing else.
5. The revelation: The final truth is, I learned to respect and embrace my miraculous body, which creates a human, toils behind her, nourishes her and yet manages to look presentable even after all the abuse. I learned to embrace and appreciate my 'never-say-die' attitude and can walk through hell /heaven alike (if there is any such places). I learned to be independent in real sense, not independence as defined by society (which actually means, dependant on a pay check and they even call it financial freedom, talk about irony!). I learned about love, not from a man or carnal or romantic or motherly, love in real sense, devoid of returns and unaffected by passage of time and change of scenario. I learned to be happy within and although I have still not perfected the art, I am on my journey...
Womanhood is a heavy word, beyond the hairless slender bodies and perfectly pouted lips, beyond the full bosom and lovely locks(as portrayed by male artists or media), beyond the soft exterior and helpless tears, beyond intense vulnerability and pms-driven madness... its a shining spirit, closest to the most positive energy and the most brilliant shining star, beyond success and failure, its omnipresent.. I learned the full potential of it being there, just existing in all of our souls.. its the most primitive power.. to create, to sustain and to go on beyond time. I regret being an Indian Woman, but I am happy I am Woman, nevertheless.
Until next time....
