After a depressing pregnancy, I could not wait to pop out the human who was sucking my life inside out. A long, slow and non-progressive labor continued for a day, before active labor was induced and the sheer pain of it pierced through my body!! I have never experienced anything like that before and the raw force of the hot pain blurred everything. At 13:24 on 14 November 2016 (Tuesday), after a tearing push and unexplainable feeling of a head popping out, there she was! Wrinkled, wet, naked, white peeling skin, weighing 3.09 kgs, she looked less human and more of a NatGeo specimen and I was asked to hold her. There she was, my daughter, Avantika!!
GOD! I LOVE HER!!!! I don't know how or when I fell in love but I do. Thats the only motherhood cliche that makes this whole thing worth its every minute. I love her just after knowing her for a month and I find her beautiful with a capital B. Isn't she???!!
I hope she shares my world and grows up to be my best friend. I wish her a peaceful life filled with smiles and fortified with health. I want her to be herself and not be what anyone wishes for her to become or what I could not be. Last, but not the least, I want her never to be toughened by the world. Avantika: you have my whole heart and you have my soul too, be the love that you deserve and be the change that you wish for. Your life has just begun, filled with possibilities and be aware that the journey is more important than the destiny. Enjoy the whole journey in all its phases and all its glory. Experience the joy and pains to the fullest and take in the whole spectrum of it.
In the meantime, I will savour my moments with you, till you fly on your own and leave the nest, my child. As the books say, motherhood 'is tough but its worth it!!'
Until next time....
I was too tired and spent to feel any other emotions, all I wanted to do was to doze off. As the epidural washed out gradually, afterpains, soreness and exhaustion took over. Once in my ward bed, she was handed over to me by her dad, for feeding and thats when the journey to motherhood started.
It was not a smooth transition, the breastfeeding made me feel she is sapping out all of my life force, the wakeful nights made me angry and her total dependancy on me frustrated me. As the weeks passed by I learnt to be a mother.
I am not a conventional mom as portrayed in parenting books, or TV shows, or as preached by the older generations and internet bloggers. I like my me time, I enjoy a glass of wine a day (several times in a week), I like being well dressed, I like to steal out time for yoga and I don't exclusively breast feed her. Guess what! I don't even feel guilty (know as the infamous mom-guilt) for all these. I know am doing the best I can and I love her.
GOD! I LOVE HER!!!! I don't know how or when I fell in love but I do. Thats the only motherhood cliche that makes this whole thing worth its every minute. I love her just after knowing her for a month and I find her beautiful with a capital B. Isn't she???!!I hope she shares my world and grows up to be my best friend. I wish her a peaceful life filled with smiles and fortified with health. I want her to be herself and not be what anyone wishes for her to become or what I could not be. Last, but not the least, I want her never to be toughened by the world. Avantika: you have my whole heart and you have my soul too, be the love that you deserve and be the change that you wish for. Your life has just begun, filled with possibilities and be aware that the journey is more important than the destiny. Enjoy the whole journey in all its phases and all its glory. Experience the joy and pains to the fullest and take in the whole spectrum of it.
In the meantime, I will savour my moments with you, till you fly on your own and leave the nest, my child. As the books say, motherhood 'is tough but its worth it!!'
Until next time....
